Friday, October 22, 2021
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5e Christmas Cracker Jokes

At the end of a long and difficult year its always nice to sit back open a few Christmas Crackers and read out a few terrible dad jokes. For those of you who like to insert your own jokes into crackers here are a few 5e jokes you can insert.

Q. Why did the Paladin always wear chainmail?

A. Because it is hole-ier than plate.

Q. What’s the difference between a wizard and a sorcerer?

A. Class.

Q. What does Strahd von Zarovich feed his peasants at Christmas?

A. Ghoul-ash.

Q. Who is the noisiest Player Character class?

A. Pala-DIN!

Q. Why is Kobold Press so bad at sports?

A. Because they always play Midgard and never offense.

Q. Why do other actors sigh when they learn that Matthew Mercer will be part of the cast?

A. Because they know he get upset if he doesn’t land the most Critical Role!

Q. What do you call a bard with no hands?

A. No holds Bard

Q. How do you get the attention of another D&D player you think might be your soul-mate?

A. You ask them out on a d8.

Q. What do you call a Tarrasque after it eats all the adventurers?

A. A party-pooper.

Q. Why don’t you tell your DM that they are running The Curse of Strahd campaign wrong?

A. Because the DM is always Wight.

Q. How do you play in Forgotten Realms instead of 5e Adventures of Middle Earth?

A. You need to kick the hobbit!

Q. Why do rogues wear leather armor?

A. Because its made of hide.

Q. If hobbits and halflings both like road-taxes what does this mean?

A. They are probably related (Toll-kin).

Happy holidays!